Love means never having to say you're fired.

The unwavering allegiance between Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge needs to be investigated by Congress and the FBI. There has to be some kind of blackmail or extortion going on behind the scenes of America's favorite pastime here in Cleveland. There has to be. Why else would Shapiro postpone firing Wedge at the All Star break?

Mark says he won't make Eric a scapegoat for this season. (He carefully avoids mentioning the unaccounted for disasters of the previous 6 years.) Mark puts the blame on himself instead. He boldly takes a bullet for Eric.

Well, it's not exactly a bullet. It's more like a tiny Nerf ball. Shapiro knows his employment isn't in danger as long as the Dolans own the Indians, so he won't hesitate to take the blame in order to protect Wedge. And Shapiro must always protect Wedge because... Because... Because...why? Because Wedge is doing a good job?

That can't be it.

This is where Congress and the FBI come in. Shapiro must be a victim of blackmail or extortion. Has to be one or the other, maybe both. Wedge may be a victim himself. But how will we know the whole truth unless Congress and the FBI act on behalf of us here in America? Or at least those of us in Cleveland.

There's no other explanation for Shapiro being Wedge's hero, is there? There's no other reason for one man to have such undying love for another man, is there? Well, I suppose there's one. But what two consenting adults do behind closed doors is none of our business so let's not even consider such a possibility especially without proof.

The point is, one way or another Shapiro and Wedge have tossed us every excuse in the book to account for this year's Tee Pee collapse (again, neglecting to address past implosions):

Woe is us, we had so many injuries.
Poor us, the bullpen sabotaged the starters.
Land sakes, the starters expected too much from the offense.
My oh my, the offense suffered because it was comprised of a platoon infested defense.
Heaven help us, the defense couldn't be set because we had so many injuries.

Repeat as necessary.

No, don't. The BS has to end.

Dolan, are you out there somewhere? The fans have had it with Wedge, with Shapiro, with the excuses, and with the past 6 years. Grow a pair. Fire Shapiro and Wedge as soon as game #162 of this season is over.

Otherwise seagulls and midges might be the only audience watching the Tribe at the Prog until you sell the team.

And rename it the Jake for God's sake.